Author’s note: all of these poems were written using a process I’ve come to refer to as ‘deconstruction’ – basically, I take the lyrics to albums by bands who have been influential on me as an artist, copy & paste them in alphabetical order on sheets of paper, and then proceed to write ‘magnetic poetry’ style using only the words that are on the pages spread out in front of me. In each of these poems, every word that was used appears somewhere in the lyrics to the respective album it is inspired by/taken from.
Deconstruction I: all words in this poem taken from "Songs To Scream At The Sun" by Have Heart Ask me where I'm from & I'll say I live in a cold city that reminds anyone of anything but home. It's overcrowded & full of guilt. I forget how to breathe. I never dance, because my heart dwells too long on insecurities. Sometimes the mail brings me loveless magazines that leave the blues in my stomach, because I am afraid to be alone. Some nights, I dream that I am a song-bird lost in a shoreless ocean or a sea of blood. I think of my father in his garden – he calls it Paradise, will say it's greener than all of Eden. On TV, there's a man begging to be dragged through the fire. His hypocrisy is beautiful in the way it's just like my own. I am still my mother's only son. The rambling prodigal with golden wings. She will always keep photos of me on the windowsill. I will always break every mirror. I will always long to be swallowed by the water. Deconstruction II all words used in this poem are taken from the album “Aggression” by Verse I have not always been innocent of violence against my own skin. Depression keeps me tired sometimes, but I am still fighting, still beating back the wolves whose claws have time & time again left my body to wounds, to abandon, like the needle of God's wrath has written desperation in my blood. Like my veins are burning shackles, like I can only ever know how to be numb. But I have never been alone in the night. I've always been just another boy from a bridge city, born of copper smoke & iron clouds. Born of struggle. More afraid of stagnancy than of silence, screaming quiet whispers in the dark in search of hope, of salvation, of safety. I refuse to be defeated, even by my own hands. I will remain unbroken. I am not a machine, but I will keep up the fight until I've found redemption. Until I am no longer at war. Deconstruction III all words used in this poem are taken from the album “Don't Wait Up” by Bane If I don't survive the night, promise me there will be trumpets screaming minor chords, a piano played hard with bloody fists. This whole fucking world was uncomfortable sometimes, but it was always beautiful to find bliss & harmony in the stars. I don't want any one I love to grieve forever – even though I know they will – so I'll give them my most defiant prayer: beautiful words, about life, or love found in the infinite shadow, punk rock songs that say I always knew the sun & sea were hiding in my heart. I'm not afraid of the whirlwind, of the spinning. Goodbye.