DREAM WEAVER 1.1

Dream Weaver

 

 

Adam,

I dreamt that I was shape shifting between a horse, a lion, and a bear. I could feel everything change.

Jen

 

Jen,

When we dream about shape sifting, this is usually said to represent the continuity of the persona throughout drastic physical changes.  Horse, lion and bear are all distinctive body and personality types. A lot of times the way others perceive your personality is filtered through their feelings about your appearance.  So while you may undergo physical changes but still feel like the exact same person with the exact same personality, others will believe your personality to have changed and treat you accordingly. This in turn will change the way you act. Like this, we swim is a soup of humanity, a closed loop of interaction.

When I was young I believed no one would ever find me attractive. I wound up doing horrible, hurtful things to myself in order to change my appearance. I wound up getting a lot of attention from the types of people I didn’t want it from, and the types of people I wanted to be around wound up thinking I was a monster. What I learned from all this is how malleable the body is. How malleable our personality is.

This dream is more true than most things in this life. What is truly unchanging about you is all you really are. And what you really are lies beneath the body, personality, likes and dislikes, memories, loves and fears. What you really are is a river.

Tonight, as you settle down, listen to Crucifixion Voices. This is the sound of a river flowing. Feel yourself flowing.

My earliest memory is the sensation of an object that was as heavy, dense, as a large stone, a boulder, but as light as a feather. I believe this is what being the river feels like.

A river is made of water, but not all water is a river. A river’s shape changes, but it is still the river. A river stills and rushes, rises and falls, can be dammed and harnessed, but it will always be the river. Rivers don’t hold onto the rocks, they carve through mountains just by being rivers. A river feeds throngs of beings because it is the river. A river is content to be a river.

You can’t sell baubles to a river. You can’t convince a river it needs to look a certain way. So we don’t hear about the river. We hear about personality and appearance. But these things are more dream than the dream you sent me. Your body will stop someday. It will turn to everything else. You will roll on. You will always be the river.

 

Send your dreams to DMCBLOB@GMAIL.com. Say something about dreams in the subject line.

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About Adam Tedesco

Adam Tedesco has worked as a shipbuilder, a meditation instructor, a telephone technician, and as a cultural critic for the now disbanded Maoist Internationalist Movement. His recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in Pith, Funhouse, Cosmonauts Avenue, Hobart and elsewhere. He lives under a shed in Albany, New York. Portrait By Mary Charlene https://www.etsy.com/people/missmarycharlene View all posts by Adam Tedesco

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